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Fun Naughty Laugh Jokes
War wound
A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men.
He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.
"What the hell is that?" he asks.
"War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes.
Then the guy looks to his right and sees... three streams!
"What the hell is that?"
"War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes.
The two veterans then look over at the guy in the middle and see... 12 streams!!!
"War wound?" they ask.
"Nah," he replies. "Zipper's stuck."

College Jokes Submitted by Sudip


Cat
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool beside him.
The bartender comes over, and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich.
What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The cat says "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it."
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," The ostrich says "I'll have the same".
And the cat says "I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.
"The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.
"I'll have a small scotch but I'm not paying for it" says the cat.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."
That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich and the cat?"
The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
College Jokes Submitted by Sudip

Air Force
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus.
They promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes.
Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.When the third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.
The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did.
The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said, "Where are your testicles?"
"In Vietnam" the general replied. College Jokes Submitted by Sudip

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