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Men Women Ladies Fun Naughty Lough Jokes
Saving Up!!
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,
"Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"

Men Women Jokes Submitted by Elisha Cuthbert 'Cute Girl' (23),

Confessional
A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I almost had an affair with a woman."
The priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
"Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in."

Men Women Jokes Submitted by Elisha Cuthbert 'Cute Girl' (23),

Every Woman's Dream
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5,000 in cash."

Men Women Jokes Submitted by Katherine Heigl (21), Minnesota

Who wears the pants?
A young couple gets married and on the first night the husband, a big man takes off his trousers and throws them to his wife and says, "Put these on".
She puts them on and says "Heh, I can't wear these, they are too big for me" to which he replies "That's right!" and "Don't forget it - I'm the man who wears the trousers in this family"
With that young wife takes off her knickers and says, "Try these on".
He only gets as far as putting them over one knee to find he cannot fit into them and says "Hell - I can't get into your knickers" to which she responds "Yes and you won't unless your goddamn attitude changes!"

Men Women Jokes Submitted by Pooja Tibre (24), Goregaon, Mumbai

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