Pick one or the other!|
Heard this weekend, after a performance:
"Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be a musician!"
"Son, you can't have both."
Submitted by Henry W. Farkas (),
Study Or Else
Little Johnny had terrible grades in school. So his parents decided to send him to a different school.
The same thing happened at this school - bad grades. They sent him to several different schools and still bad grades. So, as a last resort, they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
The first day, Johnny came home, rushed up to his room, and did his homework. This went on every day until his report card came out. He had straight A's, his parents were so proud, but they asked him, "Johnny, why after sending you to all these different schools, you fail, then we send you to the Catholic school and you have straight A's?"
Johnny replied, "Well, the first day, when I walked in, I looked up and saw that guy nailed to that plus sign, I knew they meant business."
Submitted by Jenna Jameson (17), Las Vegas
Eight Year Old !!
The eight-year-old was asked by his grandfather. "What is the first thing you notice about a girl?"
The lad, with a knowledge beyond his years, said, "That all depends on which direction she's facing."
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Family: Six year old boy
A six year old boy told his father that he and little Mary next door were going to get married.
His dad asked where they would live, he replied that he and Mary had talked it over and they would live in the tree house his father had built.
Dad asked where will you get money to buy food, he replied that they talked it over and decided that if they pooled their allowances they would have money for food.
Dad asked what are you going to do if you have children, he replied that he and Mary had talked it over and agreed that if she laid any eggs, he would step on them.
Submitted by Joshua Carpenter (17), Kansas