The letter issued by HR Microsoft.....!|
Subject: MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF from Microsoft Corp HRD dept.
This one is extremely funny. And what makes it funnier is the fact.. That it is a REAL memo from Microsoft. Every word here is quite intact and no word has been altered.
The following is an ACTUAL internal memo from the Human Resources Director of Microsoft.
A memo from the Human Resources Director of Microsoft.
To all Hindi-speaking staff It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi-speaking staff.
Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
Words like "****IYA, GANDU" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say "****IYE AKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO" when someone makes a mistake, or "***** CHOD, BHENCHOD" when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb "CHOD" are inappropriate in our environment.
No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as "GADHA", or "****IYA". Lack of determination will not be referred to as "KAAMCHOR SALA", and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "AALSI BHOSDIKA", or "*****CHOD".
Do not say "GAND FADU" if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way, do not use "GAND FATI NA", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say "BHOSDE MEIN GAYA" when matters become complicated. Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with "BOL TERI KAISE GAND MARUU"?
When things get tough, an acceptable expression such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than "MAA CHUDI PADI HAI" or "TATTE MUH MEIN HAI" No salary increase shall be ever referred to as "KHAIRAAT BAATI HAI".
Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI". Just keep it clean and dispose off it properly. We hope you will keep these directions in mind."
Submitted by Laugh Buster (22), Silcon Valley
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